Da Marvelous Misadventures Of Mr J And Silent Mike
by TheReverendSt.Jimmy
Summary: Michael can’t find his long lost nephew, Stephen, so he’s stuck under the curse. He moves in with The Joker a.k.a. Mr. J and they break Harley Quinn out, and Michael gets a crush! Totally random stuff here…you’ve been warned.
1. Chapter 1

_Title: The Marvelous Misadventures Of Mr. J and Silent MikeBy: AudreyKasm, : 10 out of 10, yoDisclaimer: We do not own The Joker or Michael : Michael can't find his long lost nephew, Stephen, so he's stuck under the curse. He moves in with The Joker (a.k.a. Mr. J) and they go on [mis]adventures together. Totally random stuff here…you've been warned. =)Author's Notes: This story was written under the influence of Mountain Dew, Full Throttle, Coffee, and all other forms of caffeine we could get our hands on. You are about to witness what's inside the minds of Ash and Jess. Completed: Not anytime soon…_

"_Girls at the Seven-Eleven stay up all NIGHT," he sang loudly, knowing no one would hear. "Yeah she stays up all n---"_

"_Hey Boss!" the voice of one of his henchmen called, startling him._

_THWACK! The henchman fell dead, a knife embedded in his chest._

"_Gotta hand it to ya, Mr. J," he cackled to himself. "You have great aim!"_

_He half skipped over to the body, retrieving the knife from the other clowns chest. Laughing insanely, he flung the knife into the red-painted wall. _

_It was his favorite knife, he realized. His purple hilted pocket-knife. _

"_Ah," he sighed. "Mr. Jay's wall of knives."_

_He smiled widely at the red walls decorated with his weapon collection._

_Guns…grenades…knives…perfection!_

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_Michael placed his current knife in the drawer, casually running his blackened fingers over each handle, remembering the story behind each. But, as he shut the drawer carefully, he knew which one was missing. It was stabbed into the wall, pinning up a newspaper clipping with a picture of his blood sister, Laurie, whom he'd finally killed and thrown off Smith Grove's roof. _

_He felt a tear well up in his eyes, because he had been forced to kill his whole family. He was under the curse of Thorn, and would remain so until he killed off the last living relative: little Steven. But…he disappeared, so Michael was bunking with The Joker (Mr. Jay), who preferred to call him Mike. _

_And in the meantime…he was killing people left and right. And it felt GREAT. _

_Michael slowly trudged out of the room, looking for Mr. J._


	2. Chapter 2

" 'Cause I always had a feeling that my little crime would be cold," The Joker sang happily. "That's why I got a heater for your thighs. And I know it's not your time…but bye bye!"

Footsteps interrupted his delightful little melody. He turned quickly to see a tall figure slowly stalking toward him.

"Good Morning, Mike!" he greeted in his sing-song voice. "We have quite a job ahead of us today."

Licking his lips, he flopped down into an armchair.

"You see," he cooed, holding his hands out as if presenting a picture. "The Mob wants the Batman dead. If we kill the Bat we'll get half of their money. They're paying us to destroy the city." He ran a hand through his messy curls, tongue again flicking over his lips. "So we lure the Bat out…by killing citizens. We need hostages."

For a moment, he stared at the masked man.

"You should smile," he sighed. "We're killing people, don't cha think that calls for a smile?" He paused, as if listening. "See? Told ya so!" Giggling, he nodded. "I'm excited too, Mikey!"

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Michael just stared at Mr. J, wanting nothing more than to KILL THE HAPPINESS. Replace it with darkness…

He tilted his head to one side, allowing his curiosity to show. The Joker was…the exact opposite of himself…in every…single…way…

He looked at the wall of knives, and picked one that was just like the one he usually used. Holding it steady, he let Mr. J know that he was ready to kill this…Batman…

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"Did you hear the news that you're dead!"

With a delighted giggle, The Joker danced about his hostage. She was a pretty little redhead who needed to smile.

"See these scars?" he demanded. "Wanna know how I got 'em?"

Winking at the girl he pulled out a knife. After running a hand through his hair, he put the knife to her lips.

"You see," he explained. "My father was a drinker…and a fiend! He went off one night, CRAZIER than usual. Mommy got the kitchen knife to defend herself. He didn't like that." He licked his lips. "Me watching, he took the knife to her, laughing as he did it. Then he turned to me." He hung his head, then glared up at the girl. "Why so serious? He put the knife to my lips. Why so serious? Let's put a SMILE on that face! And…" He paused, pulling at her lip with the knife. "Why so SERIOUS?"

The girl fell to the floor, mouth agape and bleeding.


	3. Chapter 3

Michael was stalking. He had blood in mind and would do anything to get his way. The "Bat" was in front of him, taking long strides, hurrying to the scene that Mr. J had created. Michael was stalking.

Holding his knife, keeping his pace steady, he turned the corner behind this "Bat" just in time to press play on his tape recorder. The Halloween theme song blared, causing the "Bat" to slow, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Michael was stalking.

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"Where did Mikey go?" Mr. J asked himself.

Humming delightedly, he began to look through his paper. He felt a bit ridiculous as he sat waiting for mike.

"Blah, blah ,blah," he mumbled as he read. "Stupid Gotham Mimes." Uncomfortably he shifted on the bench. The old lady next to him glared. "The Gotham Times has lost its touch," he explained.

The old woman rolled her eyes. She must've been blind to not realize who sat next to her…

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Michael was still stalking. Batman finally stopped and turned around, allowing Michael to take a few extra steps and thrust his knife into…the chest armor of Batman. THE CHEST ARMOR OF BATMAN. What the flying fuck was he doing wearing CHEST ARMOR when he was the ENEMY of people who are trying to KILL him? That totally defeated the purpose…

Michael was angry now, and out of frustration he grabbed Batman and hoisted him in the air, carrying him to where Mr. J sat on the bench. He then threw Batman at Mr. J's feet.

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It took Mr. Jay a long moment to regain his wits. The Bat lay at his feet and Michael stood waiting for his response like a puppy.

Slowly he extended his arms and began to applaud. A smile, almost a smirk, crept onto his face and burst into a cackle.

"Hahahahahahahaaaaa! Very good, Mickey!" He jumped nimbly to his feet, sneering at Batman. The laughter continued as he skipped about the Bat's body. Delightedly he began making buzzing sounds and jumping up and down. He jumped on the Bat's stomach, again cackling.

"I win this time," he snickered, kicking the body. The Bat groaned in defeat. "C'mon Mikey," The Joker cackled, walking away.

The old lady sat dumbfounded as the killers skipped (or stalked, in Mikey's case) away.

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